A Waiting Game...

So, it's 31st March and it is D-Day, better known as the day when I find out what Junior School my lil man is going to.  Emails are supposedly being sent out to all who applied online, and normal letters to those that did it the old fashioned way, it's 20 to 5 and still no email, I don't have much patience as it is and this really isn't helping. 

A newly hatched Brandon - approx 10 mins old

I've been feeling quite emotional today, some would say needlessly, others might be able to relate.  I just can't fathom how my tiny baby boy is now almost 4 years old and due to be going to school in September. 

Obviously I understand that Children grow up and get older (I mean, I'm nearly 30?? How did that one happen??), but I can't believe how shockingly fast the time has gone and how much he has changed.  

People used to tell me that he was one of the most photographed baby's they'd seen, but then I am glad I had the camera on him at every opportunity because I can look back and reminisce over the time passed and see how he has grown and changed over the years. 

I, of course, miss the days when he was tiny and needed mummy and daddy for everything, but I do love how he is growing into a lovely little man and that he never fails to surprise me with some of the things he says and does.  I know that my over active hormones are not helped by the ever growing louder ticking of my biological clock, and my ovaries demanding to be put to good use at least one more time before they shrivel up. 

My beautiful boys <3

It's all a question of fate, who knows what the future holds?  I may fall pregnant after the wedding, I may even be pregnant now.  If I'd not suffered my 2 miscarriages I would be a slightly stressed mummy with Brandon, a 1 year old little girl and be approximately 8 months pregnant at the moment.  I do my best not to dwell on the losses, I just have to tell myself that time wasn't right and when it is I will be able to hold the baby that was meant to be.  If it's not meant to be then, well, who knows.  At the end of the day I have my beautiful little boy and my wonderful fiance, if anyone else comes along then it is a bonus, if not then I am blessed to have what I have and that is what was meant for me. 

Just checked the email again and still nothing, I'm guessing I may be one of the last to know, especially if it is done in surname alphabetical order. Argh!! Best I go and make another cup of tea...that'll help to pass all of 5 minutes. 


Until later, T.T.F.N. x